“So, Joey,” the titillating voice crooned.
Joey reluctantly looked up at his captor.
“What brings you here at this hour?” The kidnapper’s face was shrowded in shadows, and the voice was fuzzy and confusing.
“You. You brought me here,” Joey growled.Who was this person? His asscheeks tingled with anger.
“Me?” the voice laughed slightly. “Oh no. Not me. Fate. Fate brought the two of us together. I can feel it in my poopsack, Joey. It reverberates in every roll of my puckered fat, it resounds in the cavern that is my skull, it sparks flame in the crest of my anus. We were meant to be together.”
Joey was repulsed. “What the fuck?” he gasped, trying to escape the chair he was tied to. “Who the hell are you anyway?”
Probably one of his fangirls. He tossed his hair in a moment of vanity, knowing that all the chicks at school digged him, but were too chicken to say so. He took their discarded lunch thrown onto his head as a sign of repressed passion.
“I…” Joey bit his lip in anticipation.
“I… I am the beloved… ” he felt the mysterious person brush their fingers along his face, then shivered as they licked his ear and whispered, “I am Justin Bieber…”
Joey screamed and shat himself so hard with fear and disgust that his asscrack was destroyed forever and he died.
Wrote this to my friend Joey Roderich <3 RIP bro. Tell me what you think yeah;D?
Comments from facebook-
Joey: Fascinating tale brother, needs more dragons n shit.
Me: With all due respect sir, go fuck yourself with a cactus.
Joey: Bitch please, I’m spiderman.
Joey: But seriously, WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN
Me: HAHAHAHHA. Challenge… completed?
Joey: There are not words for what you have done with this challenge.
Me: You underestimate my power.
Joey: I fear your power.